Refreshed Indeed

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]

Matthew 11:28 is a scripture many of us have read often throughout our Christian walk but it feels like I'm reading it for the first time this morning. A group of passionate people just put on the first annual Refresh conference in Redmond, WA and it was nothing short of AWESOME.   Wow, God's spirit led the entire event and the details came together so beautifully that it almost made it look like we knew what we were doing!  If it wasn't for so many witnesses of my stress induced tears the day before, I could have gotten away with one big lie that I actually had something to do with how awesome it was.  Thank God for IT departments, Facilities, an incredible worship team, church staffers who offered up their weekend to help, a crazy talented planning committee, and the most amazing volunteers I have ever met.  


God showed up in a mighty way and people were truly refreshed.  Many left their burdens at the door and God (and our amazing facilities department) graciously swept up the mess last night as the participants walked out lighter and filled with much joy.  Andrew and I were the emcees and that alone is a mighty miracle (more on that later).  We had the honor of interacting with so many folks as God's holy spirit moved and breathed fresh hope into their hearts.  One lady had adopted a sibling set of 4 kids and had not taken a break for four years.  Another gal said she was so burned out and exhausted that she had no intention of going to the conference. However, just three days before, she received a call from CPS and they notified her that all charges were unfounded and they were dropping the case.  She instantly knew she had to come to the conference and with tears streaming down her face, she told us just how timely this conference was.  Still another, and this story especially makes me smile, said she was burned out, listening to rock and roll on the way to the conference, and after the first night was singing praises to our king through Friday night and into the next morning.  Don't get me wrong, there's nothing like a little rock and roll to get ya pumped up sometimes (do people even say rock and roll anymore? I must be showing my age), but she was describing a heart condition that we can all relate to.  When we mistakenly place our hope and trust in our circumstances, we become bitter, burned out, and hopeless until God disrupts our pity party and puts us back on the right track, running after Him with wreckless abandon. I know because I have been there SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many times.  


But what was the greatest miracle of all was this.  Getting back to the whole emcee thing... I had fun!  Yes, Michele with the crooked smile who hates being up infront of people.  I had fun.  I had so much fun I was giddy throughout the conference.  People probably thought I was the biggest dork alive, acting like a 12 year old child up on stage.  (Well, that's mostly normal but I was even more dorky than usual!)  I should have put my hair in pigtails to match the jumping up and down and squeals that seemed to escape my mouth so often.  I used to at least try to be so polished and mature on the rare occasion that I had to speak publicly but not this time. I lost all hope of being polished at 6:31pm when we walked up to welcome everyone to Refresh.  When worshiping, I'd forget that I was heading up on stage in just a few minutes.  That NEVER happens.  Believe me.  When they say that one of the greatest events that causes stress is speaking in public, that would be true in my case.  I'd rather get a root canal.  If you don't believe me, ask my hubby. He's watched me fret, cry, and battle great anxiety before various events in the past. But this one was different.  God's spirit was so alive in that room and His hand was so obviously leading us.  His words were always on our lips. It was FUN to be a part of something so wonderful, so hilarious, and so moving.  


God took burdens away this weekend.  Burdens that we, foster and adoptive parents carry around day in and day out, were removed. Burdens of fear, worry, and despair were removed.  Burdens of failure, shame, and condemnation were removed.  As we all collectively gathered together, our joy was made complete and our hope was set back on a firm foundation.   It was so incredible and so difficult to explain to those who were not there.  I am blessed beyond measure to have been a part of something so much bigger than our little planning team of 8.  


What joy, what joy for those whose hope is in the name of the Lord. What peace, what peace for those whose confidence is Him alone. Hallelujah!

Be Greedy

I know, it's Thanksgiving and this is the time of year we make feeble attempts to teach our kids to be GRATEFUL, not GREEDY! But stay with me.  My title will soon make sense, hopefully.  So, I'm the director of local orphan care at my church, Overlake Christian Church  in Redmond.  (By the way, I know what you're thinking... and yes, it IS the best job in the world).  One of the ministries we just launched is called iBelong - Backpacks With A Purpose.  A few of us foster parents got together and were so broken hearted to see kids come into our homes with nothing but the clothes on their backs or a garbage bag filled with a few items.  We decided to do something about this and started collecting backpacks filled with basic needs that a child might have. 


Then a friend of mine who works for the state connected me with a supervisor in the Child Protective Services unit.  He was delighted to get some backpacks so I gave him half of the 32 backpacks we had collected so far.  Before dropping them off, I asked him how many backpacks he wanted and he replied, "I don't want to be greedy but I'd like a few of each age group and gender if possible".  Wow.  I instantly felt a deep sense of sadness and regret that the Church is not a place where social workers think to go to ask for assistance with meeting the basic needs of our orphaned and vulnerable kids.   


God’s Word has lots to say about meeting the basic needs of those who are without.  First of all, Philippians 4:19 says “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Deuteronomy 10:18 says that "He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing."  Finally, Psalm 68:5 says "A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation."

Now, I don’t know about you but I would think that God’s holy habitation on earth is His Church.  He’s a father to the fatherless and a judge of the widows IN HIS CHURCH.  There’s a sign that was posted around the church over the last few weeks that said, “Don’t Just Do Church, BE the Church”.  I think if more of us were to “BE the Church, this CPS worker wouldn’t feel bad going to the church and being greedy when asking for needed items for these kids.  Yes, being greedy for our selfish pleasures is a sin but being greedy for the things of God, for justice for our orphaned and vulnerable children, is truly at the core of God’s heart and His Word. 

As I meditated on this whole idea of being greedy for the things of God, I stumbled across a Sermon titled "Greedy For God" that was posted on the website of Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church in Milwaukee.

“In the parable of the tenants in Matthew 21, a landowner sent his own son to collect rent from a mad mob of murderous farmers with weapons. Here’s why: he was greedy for the good of his harvest. Zeal for collecting every last bit of his harvest made him send even his own son. Greed – even good greed – leads to such extremes! A father sending his own son! Greedy to collect you and every last soul in the harvest of his kingdom, God sent his Son Jesus Christ… God is greedy in his love for you.

So greed, if directed properly, can be good. Be a greedy friend and “put no stumbling block in anyone’s path,”… Be a greedy parent “in hard work, sleepless nights, and hunger,” so greedy for your children to see caring, uncriticizing love that you’ll give up your own desires. Be a greedy giver who is “poor” because your greed is for others to be blessed by your generosity “making many rich.” Be a greedy disciple of Jesus “having nothing” because you choose not to accumulate too many toys of this world, greedy instead for Christian living that is “possessing everything” (2 Corinthians 6:3-10).  Be greedy for God because he is and always will be greedy for you.”

Let’s pray for the day that our CPS workers and others who care for our orphaned kids can be greedy for the basic needs of these children.  Let’s pray for the day that the Church can meet the needs of every child so well that our state workers will one day ask us with expectant hearts rather than reluctant hearts.  Let’s be greedy for the harvest of what God is doing for our kids in our community.  Let’s ask the Lord with expectant hearts, not reluctant hearts, to equip us and provide for all our needs according to His riches in glory so that we can be used by Him to provide for the needs of every child. 


Be greedy for justice, be greedy for God!  Be greedy for His harvest that is coming through those of us who are following after Him and serving in orphan care.  Let’s dream of a day when the state CAN knock on our Church doors and be greedy for our kids.


Harvest Blessings to you!!!

Friend vs Birth Mom

So, I just had one of those amazing conversations with my son’s birth mom. She let me know that I could just introduce her as my friend rather than my son’s birth mom. Earlier at church I introduced her as my friend and Ike’s birth mom, as I have done countless times over the last 9 years. So when Melissa suggested this, I brushed it off like it was no problem at all but inside I became a bit unsettled. Why did I feel a need to introduce her as more than just a friend? Throughout the day and into the next week, I wrestled with this and the Lord began to give me clarity.

From my perspective, calling Melissa my friend is like introducing my mom as a friend. Can you imagine introducing your mom as just a friend? That is unthinkable in my eyes and would lessen the value placed on our relationship. So over the years I have struggled to clearly communicate Melissa’s connection with our family. She’s so much more than a friend and as meaningful to me as a family member. She’s my son’s birth mom. She’s biologically related to my son. Anyone biologically related to one of my immediate family members is called a relative.

But then, I began to think about this word, "friend", and it hit me. This descriptor might just be the best word to use when introducing someone as important to me as my son's birth mom. I thought for a minute about the words we use to describe God. Father, not a problem. Counselor, absolutely. Savior, yep. Creator, sure. But when I hear someone refer to God as their Friend, I squirm. Calling God my friend is not easy or natural for me to do. As I thought about this fact, I spent some time asking the Lord to show me why this is difficult for me. If I figured out why it's hard for me to call God a friend, maybe it would shed some light on my reluctance to call Melissa my friend.

God began to show me that I find comfort in relationships where there's obvious lines of expectations and roles. God the Father acts as a loving authority figure in my life and keeps me "in line". God the Counselor refines me and helps in tough situations. God the Savior saved me from my sin and deserves my lifetime of service. God the Creator knows all, is all, and created all so I can wrap my mind around the idea of worshipping Him all my days. But friend? There's no if/then, you do this/i do this relationship in a friendship. A friend loves just because. A friend doesn't have authority over another friend, didn't create or save their friends, and certainly wouldn't want to parent their friends. A friend just is.... a friend.  Our value of a friend has been distorted by the excessive use of the word.  Facebook friend, for instance.  Do I really have 275 friends?  Of course not.  That would be quite overwhelming!   Today, we use words like "bestie" or "kindred spirit" to describe our closest friends because calling them a friend just isn't enough.  Our society has cheapened the word "friend" to mean acquaintance so we find other words to describe our actual friends. 

So then I brought my thoughts back to Melissa. The truth is, she is my friend. I love her dearly and appreciate her friendship immensely. Yes, she is my son's birth mom but that title clearly defines roles of responsibility. Melissa gave Ike to us and then she was given the title, Birthmom. Because of what she did for us and for her son, she was given that title. But Melissa is more than my son's birth mom. She's my friend. I love her for who she is and not just for what she did for us. I value her friendship and enjoy spending time with her just for who she is.

I realized that I had it all wrong. Calling my son's birthmom my friend was indeed the most important title I could give her and was the best way to describe our relationship that had gone way beyond the boundaries of Mom and Birth Mom. So, I guess I can get used to calling her my friend.... because she IS my friend!

God speaks through Star Wars, Snow, & 4x4 Rescues

I have been reflecting lately on how wonderful it is that God almighty desires a relationship with each of us. This idea of God having a real relationship with us is a cornerstone of our Christian faith. It's the difference between practicing a dead religion with a bunch of do's and don'ts and enjoying a thriving, growing relationship with our Creator.

So lately, God has been stirring in the heart of my 5 year old. It's funny how we as parents spend countless moments worrying about the salvation of our kids... will they have their own relationship with God or eventually let go of their parent's Chrsitian faith. But then we come across moments when we recognize that God is working in our kids' hearts without our help.

Makes me realize that I truly don't have anything to do with the salvation of my kids.

Anyway, God has been working in my little 5 year old's heart. Just before Halloween, we were taking inventory of our Star Wars costumes and my son Gabe wanted to wear the same costume he did last year. For the life of me, I could only find the mask of his costume and we realized we'd have to buy a new costume this year. So we went searching and Gabe wanted the same exact costume he had last year. We went to Target, no luck. Went to Fred Meyer, no luck. We decided to pray and ask God to help us find the right costume and then ended up at Value Village. There, hanging on the rack for $5, was HIS very costume without the mask. We couldn't believe it! Somehow his costume got mixed up in a "to be donated" pile and made it all the way from a Sammamish Goodwill drop-off site to Value Village in Redmond! Not kidding!

So then, Gabe decides on Sunday night that he'd love it if school could be cancelled due to too much snow. Sunday night he prayed like I've never heard him pray and he was convinced that he'd wake up to snow. The next morning, I got up about 6am and noticed the snow hadn't fallen yet but sure enough, as Gabe's 7am wake-up time came near, the snow began to fall! Gabe was so excited when he woke up and exclaimed over and over again on the way to school that God had answered his prayers! Sure enough, school was cancelled for today. Gabe continued to exclaim that God listened to him and gave him the snow he so badly wanted! Sounds like Psalm 37, doesn't it? Verse 3 and 4 say, "Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. "

Finally, last night, we were getting a bit concerned. OK, so downright worried. Andrew hopped on a bus headed for home at 3:30 and by 5:00 his phone was dead, making it difficult to keep us posted. At 7:15, I gathered the boys together and we all decided to pray for Daddy. We prayed that someone would come to his aid and offer to take him home safely or help him in some way. We prayed and thanked God that He would send Daddy home very soon. Not 15 minutes later, Andrew walked in and it turns out he had been stuck in the bus just a few miles from our house for the last few hours. The bus couldn't make it up a nearby hill and continued to spin out in one particular spot for over 50 minutes. At 7:15, two guys in trucks offered to pull the bus up the hill. Not kidding! Andrew was home 15 minutes later. Again, God had built up my son's faith. And again, I am eternally grateful for HIS plan for my children.

Thank you, Lord, for working in my child's heart! Thank you, God, that he is learning how to have a true and authentic relationship with you! Thank you for speaking to a 5 year old in 5 year old language...through Star Wars, Snow, and 4x4 rescues.

Record Levels of Rain At The Happiest Place On Earth

I have been reflecting on a few scriptures lately that show us how God sees us and what His vision is for us.

Ephesians 1:4-6 NIV •"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves."

Matthew 5:48 Message Translation (read all of chapter 5 to get the full lesson in this... AWESOME and convicting). It's all summed up in verse 48..."In a word, what I'm saying is, grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

When we were in Disneyland, things didn't really go our way most of the time. For 3 days of our vacation, we had record rain... more than it had in 8 years. Ike got a fever,Gabe caught a cold and had an extremely difficult time with all of the activity, our room ended up two floors away from my sister's room, we never got to see some shows at Disneyland that we wanted to see, and our bag was lost on the way home. I was disappointed with how easily I became frustrated, short with my family, and downright mad. (I was tempted to buy a "GRUMPY" shirt for myself!!!) Is this it, Lord? Am I a lost cause, unable to be refined any more than I've been over the last 20 years of my relationship with you? It sure doesn't seem like it takes much to push my fleshly buttons. I found myself thinking that the Godly responses I see coming out of others seemed to be so far from reality for me.

Then God brought hope back into my heart with these scriptures. He sees us as kingdom subjects. Before we were created, He saw us as holy and blameless. He is not dejected by our moments of misbehavior and sinful resonses to our circumstances. He continues to see us as something great, a subject in His courts, His FRIEND. I also recently found out that the true translation of the word "friend" in the bible, as God uses it to describe us, is similar to a friend of the King. The king typically gave some of his closest friends access to his inner courts. They knew more about the king's plans and details of his life than anyone else. Even though they still reported to the king and were required to submit to his authority, they were also considered his friends and were brought in on the secrets of the kingdom. AWESOME that we are considered friends of our great King!!!!

Anyway, God has been giving me hope lately through these scriptures and now I see that this email on prayer just buttoned it all up! How do we move toward the heart of God? How do we learn to depend more on His spirit to carry us through situations and circumstances that are challenging? How do we ensure the fruits of His spirit come out of us in order to give Him glory in our daily lives? Through prayer. We enter into His inner courts and talk to Him. Listen to Him. Get to know Him. As we pray, we get to know the heart of God. As we pray, we become friends with God. As we pray, we learn to listen to our Father's instruction. As we pray, our desire to spend time with Him in prayer grows. God will never leave me nor fosake me. Even if I lose my patience in the rain at Disneyland. :)

And, by the way, by God's grace the clouds opened up and the rain stopped in the afternoon of our very last day! It was so wonderful to get rid of the rain ponchos!!! We managed to eat candied apples, see a show and a parade, go on California Screaming yet again, eat ice cream for lunch, and see most of the shows we had not been able to see yet. And it ended with a fantastic dinner with the entire family.. nana, boppa, my sis and her family from Australia... all together! What FUN! I'll never forget sitting on a bench seat in Red Robin with Gabe spread out on one side and Anna on the other... both resting their heads on my lap after an incredible day. It was a magical day and I was so grateful that God blessed us wih an incredible ending to our family vacation!

a·dopt: (v) To take into one's family through legal means and raise as one's own child.

Synonyms: accept, implement, take on, embrace, approve, agree, assume

Well, I'm not the most creative person in the world, but I thought I'd try this blog thing. Adoption has changed my life forever and I know there are other adoptive parents out there shouting "AMEN" to that! I have been known to tell people that "adoption ruined my life". I considered my life to be very normal, predictable until I adopted. Then it got messy, unpredictable, and downright crazy. I found myself having irrational thoughts like, "just how many kids could we actually fit in this house?" This thought is from a girl who used to think it was INSANE and downright irresponsible to have more than 3 kids... I used to desire the same things everyone else wanted... 2.3 kids, house in the burbs, and a perfectly well behaved (and groomed) Golden Retriever. But then I realized that my "normal" life isn't normal at all. It's an existance that is void of making a real difference in anyone's life, including my own. Nowadays, I can't even keep my kids well behaved and groomed let alone my dog!

But life is good. Life has only just begun to get interesting. People often describe the adoption process like a roller coaster, and I guess they are right. The first time is quite scary and we feel like we're going to spin out of control at every corner. But after awhile, it becomes a thrill of a lifetime that just gets better and better each time we go for a ride! We've been on a private birth parent adoption ride, a foster/adopt ride, and are now on another ride of foster/adoption with our third child. People ask me all the time if we're done... usually when I'm half crazed, trying to control my kids in the doctor's office or restaurant. But I've learned to hold back the instant urge to say "YES!"... the urge to get back to a normal life. The urge to get back to predictability and control. Naaaaa . Who wants that, anyway? True and undefiled religion is taking care of the widows and orphans (James 1:27). Why? Because it gets you out of your comfort zone and forces you to lean into God like never before. It forces you to give up your expectations of a comfortable life and realize that love is a verb! It's action! It's loving the unlovable or the unloved. It's driving kids to doctors, specialists, therapists and never getting thanked. It's sacrificing your retirement savings for a child who will never pay you back. It's messy. It's hard at times. It's sacrificial most of the time. It's uncomfortable.

Whenever I begin to have a "poor me" attitude, dreaming of the day my life gets back under control, I'm reminded of the life of so many men and women of God in the bible. On the run, living in the wilderness, giving up a life of comfort and predictability for a life of ministry, loving those who don't love back, etc. What is "control anyway?" "Control" is assuming that I know best for my life. "Control" is falsley assuming that I can be in the driver's seat and avoid the vulnerability of not being in charge of where I'm going or how I'm getting there. When I really stop to think about it, that is not what I want at all! God, I give you control of my life! Lead me, Lord! Uphold me when it feels overwhelming. Guide me back when I get off track. Go before me and behind me on this wild adventure called life!