a·dopt: (v) To take into one's family through legal means and raise as one's own child.

Synonyms: accept, implement, take on, embrace, approve, agree, assume

Well, I'm not the most creative person in the world, but I thought I'd try this blog thing. Adoption has changed my life forever and I know there are other adoptive parents out there shouting "AMEN" to that! I have been known to tell people that "adoption ruined my life". I considered my life to be very normal, predictable until I adopted. Then it got messy, unpredictable, and downright crazy. I found myself having irrational thoughts like, "just how many kids could we actually fit in this house?" This thought is from a girl who used to think it was INSANE and downright irresponsible to have more than 3 kids... I used to desire the same things everyone else wanted... 2.3 kids, house in the burbs, and a perfectly well behaved (and groomed) Golden Retriever. But then I realized that my "normal" life isn't normal at all. It's an existance that is void of making a real difference in anyone's life, including my own. Nowadays, I can't even keep my kids well behaved and groomed let alone my dog!

But life is good. Life has only just begun to get interesting. People often describe the adoption process like a roller coaster, and I guess they are right. The first time is quite scary and we feel like we're going to spin out of control at every corner. But after awhile, it becomes a thrill of a lifetime that just gets better and better each time we go for a ride! We've been on a private birth parent adoption ride, a foster/adopt ride, and are now on another ride of foster/adoption with our third child. People ask me all the time if we're done... usually when I'm half crazed, trying to control my kids in the doctor's office or restaurant. But I've learned to hold back the instant urge to say "YES!"... the urge to get back to a normal life. The urge to get back to predictability and control. Naaaaa . Who wants that, anyway? True and undefiled religion is taking care of the widows and orphans (James 1:27). Why? Because it gets you out of your comfort zone and forces you to lean into God like never before. It forces you to give up your expectations of a comfortable life and realize that love is a verb! It's action! It's loving the unlovable or the unloved. It's driving kids to doctors, specialists, therapists and never getting thanked. It's sacrificing your retirement savings for a child who will never pay you back. It's messy. It's hard at times. It's sacrificial most of the time. It's uncomfortable.

Whenever I begin to have a "poor me" attitude, dreaming of the day my life gets back under control, I'm reminded of the life of so many men and women of God in the bible. On the run, living in the wilderness, giving up a life of comfort and predictability for a life of ministry, loving those who don't love back, etc. What is "control anyway?" "Control" is assuming that I know best for my life. "Control" is falsley assuming that I can be in the driver's seat and avoid the vulnerability of not being in charge of where I'm going or how I'm getting there. When I really stop to think about it, that is not what I want at all! God, I give you control of my life! Lead me, Lord! Uphold me when it feels overwhelming. Guide me back when I get off track. Go before me and behind me on this wild adventure called life!